ProjectDotLove

When everything is falling apart, rest assured that you will be safe in His arms. You will always be comforted. You will never be alone. I remember all the nights I was so lost that I thought I would never be found again. I remember sawing away at my arm, so deep. It hurt like absolute hell. I was terrified. I was so scared that I pushed harder and deeper. I was so lost thinking it was about me and that I had to pull myself out of it. I knew I couldn’t. I forgot it wasn’t about me. It is about Him. I forgot that I couldn’t do it alone. It took having Him by my side to pull through. I was found again. I was safe in His arms. He made the promise to always be with me. He has stood firm in that promise. He built the world. His arms hold heaven. My battles were nothing for Him. I needed to realize it was about Him. I know I will always be safe in His arms, even when everything is falling apart. I will forever be safe in His arms. The most beautiful part? So will you.

I’m an open book. I think pretty much anyone who has ever talked to me would agree with that. I’ll share anything and everything without knowing you much at all. I don’t know if that’s a good thing either. Sometimes I am sure it kinda freaks people out and scares them away. I also think if someone’s worth having around, it won’t scare em, it’ll draw them in.

Recently I’ve been wondering about relationships. I guess even more just about me and dating. I don’t hide much. I don’t like hiding things. I almost always too soon will tell any girl I meet that I’ve been divorced. I think it’s kinda dumb and foolish of me, but I would hate for things to go well and in a few months I bring it up only to scare them away.

I’m always thinking, won’t you come dance with me, love? After everything I told you will you still take my hand? Yeah, I’m scared, but I’ll dance with you, right here and right now. I don’t care if there’s no music, I’ll sing you any song you want in your ear. All we need are the stars and the moon. Will you take a risk with me if I’ll take a chance with you? Won’t you come dance with me, love?

Things have taken some getting used to, in a great way. My life has new energy. In many senses, I am finally alive. Now that I’m on my own, I have made sure to finally do things for me to be happy. Now that I’m on my own, life is finally gaining and holding value. Now that I’m on my own, I’m really just happy.

I’m a pretty unique person I have been told. I don’t act a certain way because that person does. I don’t dress a certain way cause I saw it on tv. I’m really just me and I like that. Some people will like it I hope and I know some people won’t. So much of my individuality and uniqueness was taken away over the last 7 years. Clothes were bought so I’d look a certain way and so on. For many years I really gave into it. Never again, that is for damned sure. If someone wants to be with me, they’ll truly be with me for me. I’m not into conforming to being someone I’m not.

Now that I’ve been on my own again for 2 years, I’m able to look back and learn from it all. Being 28, I have my best years ahead of me, I am lucky. I’m just so glad I’ve been through the depression, the cutting, all of it. I’m so fortunate to have been through the marriage, the affair, the separation and the divorce. I know that probably sounds silly, but I’m sincere when I say it. It’s all molded me into who I am.

Now that I’m on my own, I can’t wait to see what’s next.